Allow Me to Explain Why You Should Learn the Rules of Grammar

My current reading book is Muriel Barbery's The Elegance of the Hedgehog. In it, a student asks the language teacher why people learn grammar:

"You ought to know by now," replied Madame Never-mind-that-I-am-paid-to-teach-you. "Well I don't," replied Achille, sincerely for once, "no one ever bothered to explain it to us." Madame Fine let out a long sigh, of the "do I really have to put up with such stupid questions" variety, and said, "The point is to make us speak and write well."

 I thought I would have a heart attack there and then. I have never heard anything so grossly inept. And by that, I don't mean it's wrong, just that it is grossly inept. (under the section called " Profound Thought No. 10")

I'd like to take a moment to explain why we learn, or should learn, grammar.

Read this:

It is from Joshua Marie Wilkinson's Selenography, and it is actually just a snippet of a many-pages-long poem.

One reason to learn grammar is so you can mold language in ways you otherwise could not.

Most obvious: "Static" is not a verb, so per grammar, this is ridiculous. But instead, it makes total sense and the strangeness of it makes us pause to soak it in, whether we want to pause or not. Actually, each line break is strange enough to cause the reader to trip, making this difficult to get through ... on purpose. Wilkinson is ripping apart phrases, causing what journalists call "split" lines. By all rights, it should be

storm-heavy planks & storms enough
to call you on the telephone
& static your pause.
I know...

But it doesn't, and that forces you to conjure these images, tripping every time a sudden change forces a new one, paying total attention whether you like it or not. Both the line breaks and the incorrect word choice does this.

Why learn grammar? To gain control of your own words, to make them do what you want instead of the other way around.

Another example of tight control, this time following all the rules:

Jose Pina Castro, an Ontario, Oregon, man who pleaded guilty to mayhem for biting off part of a woman’s ear in Caldwell, will spend 10 years in prison with five years fixed, 3rd District Judge Christopher S. Nye ruled Wednesday.

This is what journalists call a "lede," which is a fancy word for the point of the story, almost always the first sentence. Ledes, when done correctly, are chock-full of information, and it would be difficult to understand it all without grammar's help. Things we learned from that one sentence:

1. Who? Jose Pina Castro. He is from Ontario, Oregon.
2. What'd he do? He bit off a woman's ear; but more recently, he pleaded guilty to doing so. Turns out "mayhem" is a word that means you got rid of someone's body part.
3. Woman? Yeah, she's from Caldwell (Idaho).
4. What now? He's going to be in prison for at least five years, probably 10.
5. Says who? Christopher S. Nye, who is a judge in the 3rd district.
6. When did he rule that? Wednesday.

All that info (minus the "mayhem" definition, that was thrown in as a fun fact from me), in one sentence. One! It was not in the least bit confusing or exhausting to read. This can be attributed to smart grammar.

Another reason for grammar is so we can be precise and not confuse anyone.







Point made.

Quick recap: Three reasons to learn grammar (umbrella reasons, but I didn't want to lecture for too long). First, so you can break the rules of grammar on purpose and make your language work for you. Second, so you can be a language master and do things like squash tons of info into itty bitty spaces. Third, so you don't confuse anyone.

That last reason is the primary one. Grammar is there so no one gets confused. If you're a writer, however, consider those first two reasons. Control is the reason for grammar. It allows you to say what you want to say in whatever way you want. If you know the reason for a rule, you know when to break it and how to do so in a way that won't confuse people. Poetry is the main opportunity to ignore grammar. Dialogue is another invitation for purposeful grammar neglect. There is not always a need to break the grammar rules, though; usually, you can practice correct grammar and, using the second reason, create beautiful and efficient works of written art.

Does that answer your question, Achille?