Scene: A family dining room set with a table and a large number of chairs. A painting by Andy Warhol decorates one wall along with a handsome grandfather clock and a window overlooking the street, which is of the crowded townhouse variety.
Enter Travis, stage right. He is dressed in a suit, with the coat slung over his shoulder jauntily, and his hair has been freshly oiled. He yawns while walking over to one of the chairs, then sits down and turns his head to glance out the window.
Enter Maid from upstage. She is carrying a tray laden with breakfast foods, with a pitcher of milk in her other hand.
Maid: Good morning, sir. (Places plate down.)
Travis smiles his thanks and picks up his fork.
Maid: Well aren’t you going to ask about the missus?
Travis: (Puts down fork with sigh) How is she, Abie?
Maid: Good morning, sir. (Places plate down.)
Travis smiles his thanks and picks up his fork.
Maid: Well aren’t you going to ask about the missus?
Travis: (Puts down fork with sigh) How is she, Abie?
Maid: She’s up already, sir.
Travis: Ah. (Looks down at meal in obvious discomfort) Is she in?
Maid: Right now she is, sir, yes sir. In her bedroom. Shall I tell her to expect you?
Travis: Can it be helped?
Maid: Not if you’re going to be eating another meal today, sir. Cook’s packed everything up and has left. He said he couldn’t take any more of it. And I may be following him soon, sir, if you don’t settle her down quickly.
Travis: All because of that blasted smile. But what was I to do when confronted like that? I hadn’t prepared myself to grovel and I hadn’t prepared a lie to smooth her feathers.
Maid: Sir.
Travis: You are right, Abie. I will see her after … after my morning coffee.
Travis smiles and lets out a small laugh as Maid nods and exits stage left.
Travis: (Eating while reading through his mail) Work, bills, calling cards. (Writes on one page) Sanctuary, I say. (Finishes food, turns to newspaper and flips it open with a pleasing snap.) “Man sues neighbor for gopher problem.” That must be Pharynt, he always was a little daft. Ah yes, it is Pharynt. I will have to call on him tomorrow to console him over the inevitable—
Maid enters, stage left. She looks frazzled to an extreme.
Travis: Ah. (Looks down at meal in obvious discomfort) Is she in?
Maid: Right now she is, sir, yes sir. In her bedroom. Shall I tell her to expect you?
Travis: Can it be helped?
Maid: Not if you’re going to be eating another meal today, sir. Cook’s packed everything up and has left. He said he couldn’t take any more of it. And I may be following him soon, sir, if you don’t settle her down quickly.
Travis: All because of that blasted smile. But what was I to do when confronted like that? I hadn’t prepared myself to grovel and I hadn’t prepared a lie to smooth her feathers.
Maid: Sir.
Travis: You are right, Abie. I will see her after … after my morning coffee.
Travis smiles and lets out a small laugh as Maid nods and exits stage left.
Travis: (Eating while reading through his mail) Work, bills, calling cards. (Writes on one page) Sanctuary, I say. (Finishes food, turns to newspaper and flips it open with a pleasing snap.) “Man sues neighbor for gopher problem.” That must be Pharynt, he always was a little daft. Ah yes, it is Pharynt. I will have to call on him tomorrow to console him over the inevitable—
Maid enters, stage left. She looks frazzled to an extreme.
Maid: You will want your coffee now. (Leaves, upstage, returns with cup and saucer.) Now don’t wait for it to cool down, sir. (Sets it down in front of him, hovers)
Travis: (Throws down paper) Oh, that Monday had not happened!
Maid: Not to mention all those days before, of course. (Travis looks confused, then his face registers understanding) Drink up, sir. Can’t let it get cold, lots to do today.
Travis: (Shoos her off a little, blows on coffee, takes a sip and grimaces.) I see you made this yourself, Abie.
Maid: Just like my papa taught me, sir. Have you finished, sir? Let me take that, then, and you know where the missus’ bedroom is. (Moves upstage, turns toward Travis one last time.) I’d skip knocking and then duck when you enter, sir. You know her aim is sharp. (Maid exits, upstage)
Travis looks at watch, looks out window, sighs, starts to pace the room.
Travis: That blasted smile. (Pulls some liquor out of his suit coat pocket, takes a swig, exits stage left.
END SCENE.
Scene II
Scene: Gloria’s bedroom. Clothes are strewn about the floor and bed, and two suitcases open on the bed. A vanity off to one side has various beauty products and mementos scattered on it. A framed portrait of Gloria and Travis hangs at the head of the bed with its glass cracked.
Travis: Honey?
Gloria shoots him a look of scorn. She has been crying.
Travis: Oh, my wife, mother of my children and caretaker of my home! What have I done?
Travis rushes toward Gloria, who slaps him across the face and fights to get away from him.
Travis: (Throws down paper) Oh, that Monday had not happened!
Maid: Not to mention all those days before, of course. (Travis looks confused, then his face registers understanding) Drink up, sir. Can’t let it get cold, lots to do today.
Travis: (Shoos her off a little, blows on coffee, takes a sip and grimaces.) I see you made this yourself, Abie.
Maid: Just like my papa taught me, sir. Have you finished, sir? Let me take that, then, and you know where the missus’ bedroom is. (Moves upstage, turns toward Travis one last time.) I’d skip knocking and then duck when you enter, sir. You know her aim is sharp. (Maid exits, upstage)
Travis looks at watch, looks out window, sighs, starts to pace the room.
Travis: That blasted smile. (Pulls some liquor out of his suit coat pocket, takes a swig, exits stage left.
END SCENE.
Scene II
Scene: Gloria’s bedroom. Clothes are strewn about the floor and bed, and two suitcases open on the bed. A vanity off to one side has various beauty products and mementos scattered on it. A framed portrait of Gloria and Travis hangs at the head of the bed with its glass cracked.
Travis: Honey?
Gloria shoots him a look of scorn. She has been crying.
Travis: Oh, my wife, mother of my children and caretaker of my home! What have I done?
Travis rushes toward Gloria, who slaps him across the face and fights to get away from him.
Gloria: Get away from me, you … you … you stranger!
Travis: (Begins to cry) Wife—
Gloria: Exactly! WIFE. But no more. I am taking our children and we are leaving. Today. I just need to finish packing our bags and we will be gone so that you may go on as the adulterer you are without corrupting what is most innocent and precious!
Travis: Have pity on me, Gloria! I have done what is most detestable to you; if you but tell me what must be done so that I may regain your love and be the husband you most deserve, I will do it! Tell me what must be done, be my judge, bestow justice and mercy as you will. I stand ready to do all to gain worthiness. (Gloria looks like she may soften) I never should have smiled when you confronted—
Gloria: (Face hardens abruptly and she turns away) You will be late for work. Go.
Travis: But my wife—
Gloria: Is leaving you. Good day, sir. I hope we shall continue to be the perfect strangers I have discovered that we indeed are, even after 10 years of marriage. And I hope we are greater strangers in all time to come.
Maid enters.
Maid: Missus, Lucy demands she wear her pink dress today.
Gloria: Tell her not to argue.
Maid: I tried to tell her to wear the yellow, but she won’t even—
Gloria: (Sighs) I will go to talk with her. (Gives Travis cold stare)
Travis, Maid exit. Gloria allows herself to crumple to the bed, sobbing.
END SCENE.
Travis: (Begins to cry) Wife—
Gloria: Exactly! WIFE. But no more. I am taking our children and we are leaving. Today. I just need to finish packing our bags and we will be gone so that you may go on as the adulterer you are without corrupting what is most innocent and precious!
Travis: Have pity on me, Gloria! I have done what is most detestable to you; if you but tell me what must be done so that I may regain your love and be the husband you most deserve, I will do it! Tell me what must be done, be my judge, bestow justice and mercy as you will. I stand ready to do all to gain worthiness. (Gloria looks like she may soften) I never should have smiled when you confronted—
Gloria: (Face hardens abruptly and she turns away) You will be late for work. Go.
Travis: But my wife—
Gloria: Is leaving you. Good day, sir. I hope we shall continue to be the perfect strangers I have discovered that we indeed are, even after 10 years of marriage. And I hope we are greater strangers in all time to come.
Maid enters.
Maid: Missus, Lucy demands she wear her pink dress today.
Gloria: Tell her not to argue.
Maid: I tried to tell her to wear the yellow, but she won’t even—
Gloria: (Sighs) I will go to talk with her. (Gives Travis cold stare)
Travis, Maid exit. Gloria allows herself to crumple to the bed, sobbing.
END SCENE.
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